Memoirs of a Scan
by AzureShadowMoon
Summary: Simon is 151 years old and still has the sass of a teenager and the 'sure, whatever' of a middle school brat. [Or, twenty six reasons Catherine got through it all]


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1\. Catherine knows the difference between flesh and not, and when she first comes aware she is two limbs more in a lab that's not hers, with a monster ripping the heads off her colleagues. She's about had it, until a guy from Canada asks for her help.

2\. Simon is weird, not because it took him till _now_ to realize he's a diving suit, but because he's asking questions scientists did not. _How could anything matter when you know you're a stupid robot in a stupid dead world_ really was just the tip of the iceberg in irony and karma.

3\. Simon is 151 years old and still has the sass of a teenager and the _sure, whatever_ of a middle school brat.

4\. Catherine thinks about living Catherine often, or as often as she has between times she's unplugged and pulled back into the system in the blink of an eye. Sometimes she's envious, and then she hears Simon as he complains about WAU and _icky black holes_ and promptly deadpans.

5\. In Simon, she sees a bit of chivalry that she thought was dead among her friends. If she could even call them that.

6. _Sure, Cath_

7\. She doesn't tell him, because she's sure he already knows, but he's definitely a yes man. If Brandon was still alive, he'd probably call him whipped.

8\. She is the one that tells him to go to CURIE, and secretly regrets it when they crash into Delta. Even more so when he says _I thought I was done for back there._

9\. She has a few choice words in mind for the WAU, despite its good intentions. _Friend stealer_ is one of the less creative ones.

10\. She's initially confused over his reluctance to stun the robot, but he mentions the robots rambling and its cherished memories, and she feels worry if she'll ever end up like that. Simon rolls his robot eyes and says _you're too stubborn to go crazy._

11. _How am I still Simon, how am I talking, I don't have a mouth_ is the first thing he says, but the first thing she thinks of is a very real and human Simon blowing a raspberry at her, and dearly wishes she had a hand to punch him with.

12\. She misses her mouth too.

13\. She tells him mankind- the ARK- is more important, but she sometimes wonders how it's like to be Simon from Canada. How it's like to remember and think and feel, because all she sees is what's inside a computer and, besides, that image of her face doesn't even get her good side.

14\. Simon mentions Robin Bass, only briefly, but she sees the way he doesn't make eye contact with her monitor. He's worried, because some are left behind, and some move on. She mentions how they can get on the ARK, and dearly hopes she didn't make a mistake.

15\. Living Catherine is timid, according to Simon, as he kind of looks at her accusingly. She passes it off with an easy going remark of _I bet the Simon one hundred years ago would have shit himself_ and he unplugs her.

16\. Dealing with Brandon is like dealing with a computer virus that just does what it wants, and she feels herself die a little each time they fail. Simon looks worse for wear, especially with the WAU on their back. She tries to look at the bright side. She really does. But the only bright side Simon looks at is the ARK, and by damn if that's the case, she'll push him into the abyss herself just to lighten the mood.

17\. She doesn't know Releigh Herber, but that's who Simon is wearing now. He doesn't trust her anymore, and she can't see anything behind the black tinted glass. She missed the old Simon, but she doesn't want to, because the old Simon is stuck in a closed off room and new Simon is dripping blood and residue.

18\. Nothing's changed, she realized, he's only gotten sassier.

19\. When the Climber stops and so does Simon, her nonexistent heart nearly explodes with worry, because a WAU creature is there and she isn't. And something, she knows, is terribly wrong.

20. _Glad it didn't kill you_ only expressed the slightest of her despair.

21\. Sarah Lindwall is dead, and Catherine never bothers Simon for any details beyond that.

22\. The WAU is dead, but Simon is a fourth less of the reach he used to have.

23\. Living Catherine isn't so much living anymore. The word friend is meaningless to her, and even if she doesn't say it, she appreciates _I'll be your friend_ much more then he'll ever realize.

24\. When she dies, she dies in anger and in spite and rage and wishes she could have said so much more to the man behind the helmet. Because they made it to the ARK, _they did,_ not themselves, but he doesn't believe that and chances run out. The lights darken, and _Fuck you, Catherine_ is the last thing she hears.

25\. But not the last thing Catherine sees, upon the glittering shoreline and the taste of salt and breeze in her hair. Limbs are weird and awkward again and she laughs. Another joins hers and she does what she's always wanted to do to the idiot, and slugs him in the gut.

26\. Right before hugging the Simon from Canada she's always wanted to know.


End file.
